Making your ears Bleed

I wonder who writes the mind-numbing tunes on the HMRC website? Is it a ploy to make you so incensed that you hang up and stop bothering them? The electronic tones are of a similarly uninspiring middle-toned variety and are irritating in the extreme – especially if you are hanging on for what seems like an endless premium rate phone call. Is there some sadistic person on the other end filing their nails, reading a book with their ipod plugged into their ears…having that oh so smug voice repeatedly stating,  “Thanks for waiting one of our advisers will be with you as soon as possible.”

This is blatantly a lie. They are on an extended lunch break or (as it is a Saturday) they have knocked off until Monday.  I am not happy. I have lots of other things to do. It says on the website that they are open until four!!  Maybe they only employ one person in the help centre and they have to make tea, do the post and play online bingo.

I feel that I could almost join in the dulcet tones that are assailing my ears – I have heard them so often.  Incidental music I think they call it – there’s the quacking one, the uppy downy one, and the oh so jolly one, and the plainly bizarre moonscape ocean one. They are enough to send anyone crazy (in my defence).

I think I may have to go and sit in a darkened room for a while – oh and take the phone with me of course!

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