Goodbye and Good Luck…

15th Jan
This morning, as I was sitting on the toilet, a small brown mouse emerged from the cupboard under the sink. looking a bit perturbed to see me there he turned and headed for the door. Luckily it was open after my early morning wander – otherwise I might have felt a bit more concerned from my, formerly comfortable, vantage point.
The loaned Rodent Repeller, which had impressively been flashing intermittent green and red lights like a nightclub from the 80, accompanied by a clicking that alternates between hip hop and house rhythm, obviously hadn’t been doing its job. I had heard somewhere that mice don’t like loud music so yesterday I dug out an ancient ghetto blaster and put it on the kitchen work surface. There was a cd already in it, I turned up the volume and ‘Panic at the Disco’ blasted out of every orifice. I had hoped that it would prove prophetic.
Back to today and my next job was to check the mousetraps and just as I expected, they hadn’t worked either – no surprises there…especially since I’d just come face to face with one.
I decided to chop up a Thornton’s chocolate left in a box from Christmas and see if that was more tempting than the brown goo that came already in the pre-baited traps, and then I left for work.
Late afternoon and I picked my Dad up so that he could help me with a flat-pack desk (ok I was hoping that he would do it for me). I checked the mousetraps and noticed that one had the shutter closed. Knowing that they were very sensitive, I picked it up and tipped it up and down a few times then looked through the air holes at the end. I thought that I could see a tail but the box didn’t feel any heavier and there was definitely no one trundling up and down inside.
I found an old defunct washing up bowl and took it along with the trap and a box for a cover into the garden. Carefully opening the shutter, I was then rewarded with the emergence of a little mouse. I shoved the box lid on quick and my poor Dad was charged with keeping it sealed. I had heard that you had to take it at least 5 miles away to release it so that it wouldn’t find its way back. Picking a rural area, I pulled in by some fields and a footpath and took the lid off the bowl. The little critter sat in the corner looking a bit stunned and then attempted, without much success, to scale the obviously colossal walls of his prison. I tilted it sideways and eventually he clambered over the side and came to sit on my foot. At this stage I was a little anxious that he might take refuge up by trouser leg, but as my foot instinctively moved sideways he hopped off in the other direction and headed back up the lane to disappear into the garden of the only property in sight.
Mission accomplished but I do hope they don’t have a cat…

mousie 1

There’s a mousse loose about this hoose!

Today, I’m going mousie hunting
Certain to be rid…
But as I’m not sure where to look,
And not sure where they’ve hid,

I don’t know if it’s one or two
(Or maybe it’s a plague!)
I don’t know much of anything,
I’m feeling rather vague

Especially thinking (Oh the thought!)
of James’ clever contraption
I hope it rather sets itself
And then gets into action.

Alyson says a tea towel is
Useful to cast over,
“A cat will merely bring in more
And watch them run all over.”

All over, yes, and round about
I’m feeling rather faint
At thoughts of having all these mice
Or is it just the paint…

The paint from fixing worktop
I burnt it to the wood
So now I have to prime and seal
And cover it I should.

I went and bought some plastic
With sticky on the back
I’m told I need to peel with care
It’s really quite a knack.

On telly it seems so much fun
“Here’s one that I made earlier”
They didn’t say that when at home
it really gets much curlier!

I’m quite a liability it seems
When all is done and said
Maybe I need a live in job
with food and board instead!

Not welcome here!

The door to the hall is firmly shut. I eat my supper and eye the boiler room – home of suitcases, rarely used exercise mats, a box of old leads, some tools, deck chairs, the ironing board. Somewhere that I must clean out tomorrow. As I turned on my laptop on the coffee table, what looked like a black ball ran along the base of book shelves and disappeared. I can’t see it, there is no reason for a black ball to be anywhere in my lounge. I have come to the conclusion it is a mouse. I’m not scared – having come back from a very gruelling two hours at the cinema featuring Japanese water torture I feel that a mouse is very small fry. There’s no way it is escaping…there is no way it is staying! This mouse is firmly blackballed.
Although…if I find it what shall I do with it? I couldn’t possibly ‘see it off’. Um I mean kill it. But how would I get it outside?
For now I carry on eating…and watching.


photo credit: google images

photo credit: google images

Determined to get
their pound of flesh
We rush from one
job to the next –
seeming to just not
have the time to
take a breath and
then we are passed
more plates to keep
on spinning around
on vertiginous poles
way off the ground
and then you get
that sinking heart…
just as they start
to slow…
and then
(count to ten)
they get that

Musings of a Midnight Nature

Midnight Musings

My brother knows me too well – he knows that I’m often to be found typing away into the middle of the night. My creative drive seems to wake up at about ten pm and the other night I finally got to bed at four in the morning. Obviously, this only works when it is the weekend or the holidays and I don’t have to get up for work two hours later. It is the same with whatever I am creating. When I had my little salt dough craft business I would be baking at 3am quite regularly. Now writing has taken hold I frequently find myself lying in bed thinking about what I would like to write. Last night I got up twice to jot things down and, in typical disorganised fashion, I had to scrabble around to find something to make a note on. Well no longer! I have been given the perfect Christmas present….complete with a (ok rather backhanded) compliment. ‘Midnight Musings of a Sleepless Genius’ it says on the cover and it is filled with lots of inspirational quotes and blank spaces to fill in by torchlight, candle-light, gas-light…whatever.
He thinks I am a genius. Wow! Ah hold on… ‘sleepless genius’ that suggests sleepwalking, sleeptalking, sleepwriting, being in possession of involuntary genius genes is not really a compliment at all – unless by association he is claiming to be full of it himself…hmmm

Going Crackers

I’ve decided that making your own crackers using a kit is quite hard. I think that it would have been easier, using an old toilet roll and some crepe paper in the style of Blue Peter. In fact if it wasn’t such an OLD toilet roll I might not even need the crepe paper as some might already come attached. I’ve managed to roll it up and eventually fasten it using the tags and have tied one side with the ribbon provided. The snap keeps falling out of the other end if I don’t keep it horizontal and it’s impossible to get the hat and motto in as they keep getting stuck through the holes where you have to fasten it.
I have reached the conclusion that Christmas wrapping and rolling is not my thing and if I were an elf I would have got the sack by now.

Like Dr Who?

We are thinking about career paths in class today – ok they are only 8 years old but it’s good to plan ahead. Caleb tells me with a sneer that Sam wants to be a time traveller.
“You need to tell him that he can’t be one Miss!”
This proves to be a little harder than anticipated, Sam is adamant that is all he wants to be when he grows up.
“Maybe you could be an inventor and discover how to travel in time…?”
“What like in Back to the Future?” asks Caleb with round eyes.
“I want to be a Time Lord and save the world!”Sam can’t be dissuaded and at this point I am suspecting that he is suffering from Dr Who overload.

Caleb says he would like to act in some adventure movies. This seems to be a little more reasonable and something that we can work with (I am hoping that Sam will get inspired to think of something more suitable).
“I’d like to be James Bond and get lots of gadgets from a man in a white coat.”
There’s nothing like aiming high.
“So you need to work hard at maths, so you can crack codes, and technology so that you can work the gadgets Caleb.”

Harry decides to enlighten us as to his own plans.
“I want to be a prankster.”
I am a little perturbed at this.
“Do you mean a comedian?”
“No I want to play pranks on people.”
“Maybe a magician?” I am hopeful.
“No, just a prankster.”

I think it was easier talking to Sam about his plans to shift space and time…

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