It’s five minutes into the afternoon session and I am told that they desperately need me to teach the little Year Twos. I go downstairs to find out what lesson they are supposed to be doing. It’s PE. Not good. The only lesson that I really feel under-equipped for….and I’m going in with no preparation time whatsoever. Luckily we have the hall and the children are so enthusiastic that I could play ‘sleeping lions’ with them all afternoon and they would think it was great.
We are animals in the woods, we make shapes and letters, we play follow my leader and work in pairs. Then comes the pièce de résistance…my famous ‘Pose of a Gnome’ game.
This is a sure fire way of having them calm right down ready to go back to class in an orderly manner. We had fishing gnomes and golfing gnomes and piano playing gnomes and singing gnomes and, best of all, what looked like a group of brass band gnome players all performing silently and in a frozen-statue-like manner.
Ahhhh such blissful silence!

Lessons in Love

“Davey says that I’m not allowed to sit next to Chloe Miss and I can sit next to Chloe if I want to, it’s not up to him!”

“Yes Brad, that seems a bit mean – I’ll have a word.”

“Davey! Could we have a little chat please?” The boy approaches looking a little sheepish.
“I have been told that you said to Brad that he and Chloe are not allowed to sit next to each other, is that right?”

“I didn’t say it Miss. I mentioned it to Charlie and he went over and said it to Brad. I’m just a bit worried that Chloe will love Bradley when she loves me and I love her.”

“I think Davey that you need to not show Chloe that you are so worried about it all. It might look a bit bossy. If she loves you then you haven’t got anything to worry about anyway!”

“But Miss I saw them holding hands on the carpet!”

“I bet that was ages ago.”

“No it was since we have been in Year 3!”

“So maybe it was in September then? Ages ago.”

“No Miss it was in literacy not all that long ago.”

I try and reassure poor Davey but, in truth, I think that I would be worried too. Chloe smiles besottedly up at the tall handsome Bradley, while Davey can’t help but keep craning his neck around from the rather obscured vantage point on a far flung table.

Every now and then I give him a chastising smile.
Poor boy…

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